Life after stripping, My future plans

Well now that I have retired from this business, I ask myself, whats next, what do I do from here. Well thats easy. I'm going to college, I'm going to do what I always wanted to do, and that is to be a chef. I have always love to cook and bake. I could never go after it when I was younger because of having to take care of my children and work to support them, but when I did have that time, I would cook my kids some great meals, except my son was a very picky eater. He always wanted kraft macaroni and cheese. My youngest, well she wasn't so picky, she always wanted to help in the kitchen and eat things while we were cooking. She loved to help bake cookies. My oldest, she really wasn't into it at all, but she would eat some of the things I cooked. I decided to get into the culinary program at nmc. I heard they were a very good school and had a great culinary. I went for it. Gee what could They teach me about cooking. I know everything about cooking. But there's a lot more then just cooking. When I told my kids about me going to college, they thought that was the greatest thing that I could have done, and they are real happy for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm back in high school, but it's all good, I'm enjoying it. I have to go for a least 2 years to get my associates, and then I can start going after my plans for the future, but I have a road ahead of me, but when it's all said and done, I'm going to be so happy. I just wish I could have done it sooner. One day I want to be able to have my own resturant, maybe be a famous chef or even work on a cruise ship as head chef, but either way I'm going to do it, its all about putting all my effort and time into it. I am thankful for the life that I have lived even in the stripping business. I enjoyed doing what I did and had a lot of fun. Yes I had some disappointment at times, but I also got through the hard times, and I feel that I had helped a lot of girls that struggled with their addiction and their greediness, but it all panned out in the long run. I'm also very proud of myself, that iI didn't let myself get weak and go down the wrong path. I did a lot of hard work in that business and will always be a hard worker. I did'nt get toned up for nothing. Now I'm 46 years old and can actually say I can prove I work out. I do miss it at times, but it's time to retire, and go after my dreams. I watch a lot of those chef shows on tv and think about how great it's going to be, when I get to wear one of those jackets. When you get one of the jackets, that is when you know that you have came a long way. I want my kids and family to be proud of me. Not to look at me as a girl that swings around poles and taking men in vip room. I want them to look at me as someone that has accomplished something in their life. I hope that my family will finally look at me as a decent person and not a whore, because that is how they use to look at me. Now I'm going after something that I want to do. Just because I was Living the life of a dancer didn't make me a bad person. I do have standards. You can be anything you want if you put your mind to it, and be strong about it. Don't be weak, be strong and go for what you believe in.

The workout

People used to ask me all the time, where do you workout, do you lift weights. No I tell them, never been to a gym. My proffession is my gym. I felt that what I did was hard work in doing what I do on those poles. I did a lot of tricks and things on those poles. I used to think of those poles as my weights, because I had to lift myself up on those poles all the time. When I was'nt pulling myself up, I was twirling around them like a monkey. I had a lot of fun doing that. Dancers would ask me "How do you do that. " I would look at them and tell them, lots of practice. Dancers ask me to show them a lot of my pole moves, and of course I would try my best to help them. What was sad about it, is that the girls that I worked with, was so much younger than me. They did'nt have the energy like I did. they were'nt motivated like me at all. I felt really bad for them, because they should be able to do a lot more than me when it comes to being a dancer. I remember the first time I started on the poles. It was the most funniest thing. Everyone stood there and watched as I started up the poles, I thought I can do this, this does'nt scare me. "Oh boy!. was that a joke. I got stuck upside down with my legs twisted around the pole. We were all laughing so hard. I was laughing even harder because I could'nt get my self untwisted. Finally about 3 of the dancers came on stage and try to help me and when they finally got my legs untwisted, I came down on them like a turpido and we all landed on the floor. Customers were just sitting there just dying laughing and said that was the greatedst show they have ever seen. A good thing came out of that. I got over 100.00 tip from the customers for it. They all looked at me and said, You are one brave young lady. I thought to myself, I'm going to learn a lot on these poles, and from then on, I would get to work early just to practice on the poles, and today I get the workout of my life. I love evry minute of it. So yes besides all the bad things that I have expierinced, I also had a great time.

Becoming A Mentor


Aside of the discrimination, degradation and family's reaction. I had a pretty intresting life in the business. Got to know the dancers pretty well. They would actually look up to me and would actually refer me as mom. I had became their mentors-mom. Alot of the girls that I worked with, were so much younger than me. and I would see alot of these young girls come and go, and some would stay and stick it out. I would try to steer them in the right direction and try to help them in keeping focus on more important things, like concentrating on their schooling and their familys and not the bad influences that would take from them. and I try to lead them away from the bad crowd. There was a time when a young girl named Destiny had only been in the business 6 months, never had done drugs, came from a really religous family and was a very nice girl. She started getting aquainted with a dancer that had a problem with crack, and they started hanging out together and I begged her to stay away from her because that girl was just going to bring her down. But of course The girl got hooked. She came to me one day and asked me to help her. thats when she realize that I was right and that she should have listened to me. She implied that I was a mother figure to her and that I was her mentor. "your like a mother to all the girls" "she says to me." and I can tell you been in this business for a long time and have a good head on your shoulder. I then immediatly grab her and gave her a big hug and told her everything would be fine. She took my advice and did the right thing. She quit dancing for about 2 months and came back stronger and got herself clean, I was so proud of her. From then on, she alwaysed called me mom. Dancers would ask me to show them some moves on the poles and show them how to have rythm on stage. I got along great with all the girls. I actually was offered the house mom job, which is required to guide the girl in the right direction. The bosses always would compliment me on how I get along with customers and dancers and was proud to have me their. They would make comment on how the girls looked up to me and how I was their mentor and how they are my protege. When I finally decided to retire from the business the girls were sad or begging me to stay and telling me how I still had at least 10 more years on me to do this. I laughed and said, I'm getting to old for this. I'ts time to give it up. So I had to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I was a little sad when I decide to put away the heels. I started thinking about how I would miss the girls and making that money, lets not forget the workout I was getting. That is like my gym. It also taught me alot of things, like my self- respect and respect for others and my self esteem. I was always a shy person, but being in this business helped me to open up about alot of things. Like what did I accomplished out of all this. I felt that I showed other dancers that being in this business is'nt about what people put it out to be, and you can fight the shame and feel that you can be proud of who you are and what you do no matter the situation. I learned that sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I was very proud of what I did. I wasn't ashamed of it or embarrassed. I felt pretty good about myself, I was good at what I did, especially at my age.

Family Response

it's been now several years in the business, my mother still hasn't found out, thank god for that, considering she so christian. My kids were to young to really understand that lifestlye so I waited a few more years before I could explain to them my place of employment. I have two other sisters that had no clue what i did for a living, but they ended up finding out, only for the simple fact that my sister that is one year older then me only found out because her husbands best friend came to where I worked and saw me. My eyes lit up when i saw him and thought 'oh oh' Im screwed. My sister anna wasn't to happy. She told me if i did'nt quit she would never speak to me again. She says that doing what i'm doing is going to get me into drugs and prostitution and in jail. I laughed at her and told her she did'nt know what she was talking about. My sister anna is married to a guy that is jahovah witness and they don't believe in alot of things, but like I told her, I did'nt like what shes doing and that is depriving her kids from holidays and birthdays because she is no longer a catholic but I still told her I would respect that but she has to respect my choices. My sister Diana, well me and her never got along anyways and she called me names, we have'nt spoke since. My mother ended up finding out from one of her church friend reading the newspaper. The club had been raided that weekend for drugs and prostitution. When my mother found out, she was devestated. She could'nt believe it. Her feelings was hurt. She look at me and said that she would have never expected from me. Then she went on about how she is going to worry about me because of the weirdos out there. I try to explain to her that i was going to be ok. But she still feared the worse for me. I told her that it was going to be ok, that she did'nt have to worry about me I can take care of myself. She eventually excepted it and told me that she would pray for me a church and for God to look after me. My sister anna, well she still has'nt excepted it and never will. She hasn't spoken to me in about 4 years. My sister Maria, she understands, I guess because were both was in the business. She told me not to let anyone make me feel ashamed for what my decision was. So I went on with what I felt I needed to do.

The Degrading and Discrimination of Strippers

Dancers get degraded and discriminated all the time whether its by males or females. Society can be cruel no matter what the situation is, you will always get looked down at when something is different with you or your lifestyle. you have people snicker behind your back saying mean things or calling you names. I remember the first 2 months of dancing, a gentlemen came to me and offered me alot of money, I was so excited. But he had other things in mind. I didn't realize it until he asked what time do we meet, I said right now in the VIP room, well he meant the hotel. I was so embarrassed. I looked at him with a mean look and told him I was not a hooker this is a strip club not a ....... house. that night I went home crying because I couldn't believe this guy thought i was a hooker.

My sister was up waiting for me and knew I was upset. I told her what had happened and she laughed and said that is not a big deal. Then I got mad at her for laughing at me and I went to bed. As work went on, Iwould run into females that would have mean comments like I was a bad mother because I do what I do, they say its a bad thing, that my kids are going to grow up and be hookers or rapist or drug heads, but my kids turned out to be good kids, I'm very proud of my kids. They don't degrade me for this. My son thinks it was great. His comment was, not any of his friends can say that their mother is a stripper, but he said he was proud to have a mom that can entertain men and be good at it, he was very proud of me. As a matter of fact he thought it was pretty cool. MY daughter erin also thought it was cool. But she just kind of worried about me running into weirdos. But she stood behind me a 100% and did'nt give me any lectures. Her comment; You go mom!. My youngest daughter, well she does'nt know. She was very young when I had custody of her. But her father had her taken from me because I was a dancer. Never seen her after that until the summer of 2008. Im sure in the years her father had told her why I did'nt have her but till this they we don'nt talk about it and she does'nt ask. But we have a great relationship now, we have gotten to know each other over the summer. My kids never put me down for it or were ashamed.

Beginning of my life as a stripper

I started dancing when i was 24 years old and was a very shy girl. Ididn"t ever think i was going to be a dancer. Well it really started with my sister Maria, She was 16 years old when she became a dancer. My father was diagnosed with cancer and glaucoma, my mother was just a nurses aid for a nursing home. My father was a movie projectionist and worked at at a theather in Ohio. My father had to give up his job because of his illness. After 2months he had to be hospitalized because my mother could no longer care for him.

My sister got hooked up with some girls that were strippers and introduced her to the business. My mother had no clue what she was doing, dont dare to let her know. She would have flipped her lid. My sister was only 16 years old, she used a fake ID to get in the place, because you had to be 18 years old to enter.

2 months had went past and my father died april 1, 1977. My mother became very distance and us kids had to fend for ourselves. I stayed in school and graduated. After i had graduated from high school, I met a guy, we dated for awhile and became serious. 2 years later i became pregnant with my oldest daughter which she is now 25 years old. At the age of 8 months old i left her father because he was becoming abusive and sleeping around but i couldn't take care of my daughter so his grandparents kept her until i got myself established.

1 year later i met another fellow that i eventually got serious with and moved in with him and of course i got pregnant with my son, left him too. June ,1987 my son was 2 months old and i was a n assistant manager for pizza hut. My mother would babysit for me while i work. After of putting in so many hours, she could'nt take care of him anymore because it was interfering with her church life. I tried every other options and they never seemed to work out. I would get to work late and was missing days to where they had to let me go.

I had gotten a visitor, it was my sister. I was surprised to see her. We really did't speak to each other much because she was ever hardly around. I was still kind of upset with her considering what she was doing, i was really hurt that she can do something like that. My mother had told her about my situation and offered me to go work with her and she would show me the ropes. . When i asked what the job was, her response was stripping. I looked at her like she had just lost her mind and sure enough i was convinced that she has lost it. She told me that i had no choice because i had a baby to worrie about and a 5 year old dauther. I could not believe that she would even suggest that to me, but i did think about it. Well she took me to the place she worked and i was so embarrased, girls were walking around naked, asking men for dances. My first thought is that i wouldn't be able to strip for money. I thought i would give it a chance and started working at the Private Dancer club. And that is where it all began.